7/22/16

I received a legal letter the other day and it turns out that I have been representing the stars in my horoscopes and not giving equal time to their opponents.  So much the way networks have to give equal time to all candidates, I now I am forced to give a platform to the negative side of things.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you …

Today's Horrorscope

Every last one of you foul creatures:

The demons that rule the underworld want to remind you that you are all doomed.  Everyone, from the most famous and beautiful, to the richest leaders in their castles to the homeless person living in a box on the street, from innocent children to the criminals and murderers amongst us.  

We have all seem to forgotten that we are animals; filthy and disease ridden, bubbling over with parasites and hanging on by a thread.  We are all borderline psychotics, come down from the trees too soon into a world we still don’t know how to relate to.  We are overwhelmed by the technology we created, and it will ruin us all.

In the natural order of things, our strongest male would mate with every women capable of bearing a child, and run off, kill, or beat into submission every other man in the tribe.  We would bash the heads of any opposing tribes, and that’s how evolution works.

And then we would die much sooner than we do now.  

We are not meant to outlive our teeth, yet we keep desperately trying to keep our hearts beating long after they have given up.  Once we hit 40, we are in a constant state of decay and repair, and most of the repairs are shoddy.  

Love is nothing but a concept we invented to explain our instinctual need to procreate.  We are merely here to pass our subpar genes onto the next generation and then get out of the way.  So we are confused when our reptilian brain and our jumbled human brain try to reconcile the two.  We have children and care for and protect them until one day we see that they are growing up and we feel threatened by them or they make us feel old and pointless.  

So we live too long, we fight our natural urges everyday and it slowly drives us insane, we end up resenting all that we love and we think that it’s normal.  There is nothing normal about human existence.  The demons have been plaguing us for millennia, and they know the truth, and they are always there waiting to whisper in our ears and tell us how we will fail.  

All of us are destined to die, alone, afraid, and with the knowledge that everything we try to tell ourselves is a lie, and always has been.  

Except it’s not.  The stars want you to understand that there are no such thing as demons.  They simply wanted to present you with the worst outlook there is so they can set your minds at ease.  While some of what the “demons” said is true in some small sense, that’s not all of it.  

Are we sometimes ruled by animal instinct?  Of course.  But one of mankind's greatest achievements is that we have reason and compassion, and the urge to be better than our base natures.  We adapt to the world as we adapt the world to suit our needs.  

Are we full of conflicting emotions, loving and hating the same things at the same time on occasion?  Sure we are, but that has given us the capacity to create great art and literature, and philosophies to dissect the nature of good and evil, and then try to eradicate the evil and strive to be better people.

We do live longer than we are physically equipped to, but isn’t that wonderful?  All that extra time to live, to love, to make the world better for those around us.  And if we don’t achieve any it today, we will wake up tomorrow and try again.  The thing that keeps us hanging onto life is the thing that keeps us growing and bettering ourselves.  That is evolution, for us anyway, and if it doesn’t adhere to the standard definition, that’s fine, because we have changed all the rules like we always do.

If any of you have ever been in love, or loved anything, do you doubt that love is real?  They can argue until the cows come home, but if you know love you know it’s power and how strong it is. Sure it can hurt at times, and it sometimes doesn’t make sense, but all that is wonderful too, in it’s own right.

Love is real.

We are not in competition with each other on a constant basis.  We pick each other up, we sacrifice, we sweat and bleed for those we love and for complete strangers.  We prove that we are not bound by base, selfish desires every moment of every day. We are not mindless and programmed, we are thoughtful and compassionate and full of empathy.

We are ever changing, ever growing, and the good in us outweighs the bad a thousand fold.  Don’t listen to the ravings of demons.  Don’t sell ourselves short, don’t make positives into negatives, don’t ever stop believing that we have amazing attributes and we can overcome the bad traits.  

So there are no demons but the ones we create, and if there were, they are foul and evil and lie by their very nature, so why would you listen to them anyway?  

There are stars though, and they are always there, and they love us and believe in us and they are calling us to them, because with all our faults we are still so capable of reaching them someday.