10/12/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

The stars want to tell you about something you should watch out for. There are a lot of people that suffer from low self esteem. Almost everyone on the planet suffers from it at some point or another. That's normal. We all have our moments of doubt, questioning ourselves into inaction. Often there's that nagging suspicion we might not know what we're doing or that we're not good enough. That's unfortunate, but not crippling.

Some go deeper than that, though. Some are full of self loathing. Somewhere along the way, someone else put their very core into flux, and took something away from them that they might never get back.

Maybe it was their parents. Maybe they controlled them with fear and derision, tearing them down on a daily basis. Maybe the people that raised them had issues of their own, and rather than figure them out first, instead found themselves saddled with children that they were ill equipped to raise.

Then the child grows up thinking that they are the problem. They might feel that they are the reason that their mother or father’s life is a mess. They wind up hating themselves for something that isn't their fault, for something that was in place long before they came along.

Maybe their parents were just indifferent. Maybe they never had a place to go to ask about what was right or wrong, or to discuss the feelings they had. Once they got a little older, they were easily swayed by peer pressure because they had no base, no unconditional support and love.

Or worse yet, maybe they run into abusive and controlling people. Maybe they are bullied, or beaten, or raped. Maybe they form damaging relationships with sociopaths and psychopaths. Maybe they have crippling emotional or mental health issues, but their family was never there for them to get them the help they need, or they never got the tools to fix it. They are lost, without a map, or even a compass, so they wander along, not recognizing the landscape, frightened and alone.

They never learned to trust anyone, because there was never anyone that gave them something to believe in, only indifference or brutality. They are ungrounded.

So now they try to navigate life, but they are so damaged that their guidance systems are permanently down. They want love, but they don't know what it is. They want safety and security, but they can't offer it in return.

They feel no personal responsibility to do the work to repair themselves because they never saw that trait in the people that raised them. Their parents never tried, so why should they?

These people walk among us everyday. We all know them. We all love them at one point or another, just to have our hearts broken by them again and again. We think we can help, we think we can save them, but more often than not, we can't.

We often arrive at a place where we are forced to decide to continue trying to help or to just cut them from our lives. Many times these people warn us that they are no good, that they will disappoint and hurt us, that they are going to drag us down with them.

We should listen. When someone tells you that they will only hurt you, be assured that they mean it, and they plan on it. They will do anything to prove to you that they are the horrible person they see themselves as. They exonerate themselves from all blame, too. They warned you. They will tell you that it's your fault for caring.

They see love and commitment as a liability, and you as a weakness and a curse, and the paradox is that the more you love them, the more it makes them hate you and themselves.

In other words, you can't win. There is no way out. The stars have no wisdom to impart to you, no solution, no encouraging words or comfort. All they can tell you is that you should never give more than you can afford to lose to anyone. You need to figure out how damaged someone is from the get go, and walk away if they are too far gone.

They know that some of us are not capable of doing that, though. They know that some of us might have our own self esteem issues, or just be too caring and empathetic, and we will hold on much too long, and maybe destroy ourselves in the process.

And the stars will weep for them too.