11/29/16

Today’s Horoscope

All Signs:

The stars want to explain to you that they have been emitting particles for billions of years.  Trillions upon trillions of them per second, from trillions and trillions of stars.  These neutrinos pass through everything in their way, including you.  The sun alone sends 65 billion of them streaming through every square centimeter of your body every second. We are awash in them, particles formed at the time of creation, that started their journey to you before the galaxy existed.  Every light you see in the sky is at that second bombarding you with other light particles too, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to see them.  All your life, before you were born, even while you were atoms making up another star or a dinosaur or Alexander the Great or Caligula, every second, touched and probed by light from a billion suns.  That light and those particles had a minute influence on each of those atoms and in some ways made you into you.

And that is how the stars know who you are.

They know the real you, the hopeless romantic that wants it all to work out right.

The devastation of when it doesn’t, and the raw nerves you sometimes have to concentrate on with all your might to calm them down so you can make it through the next minute, let alone the next day.

The part of you that still thinks like a child until your mind catches it and tells you to grow up and do the responsible thing and the twinge of sadness when you actually do.

The times of sheer joy when the child inside of you tells the adult in you to shove it and risks injury and reprimand and does what it wants anyway.

The times words like “I’m sorry” or “I love you” or “Please don’t go” caught in your throat a second too long and now you have a lifetime of wondering what might have been.

The times you cry, sometimes out of grief, sometimes out of joy, sometimes for some reason that seems even silly to you, but you cry all the same and hope no one sees.

The vivid memories in your mind that might not be the exact way it happened, but they are home to you all the same.

The fear you feel as you age and those memories seem to start slipping away and you lay in the dark and wonder how much you might lose of yourself.

All the loss and tragedy that still comes from out of nowhere to remind you that it is still lost to you and nothing you can do will ever change it, and the wound that you thought had healed feels fresh all over again.

All the shame and guilt and fear you carry around with you because you hold onto memories of things that will haunt you forever.

The moment you meet someone and think that maybe they are the one that will help the ghosts that haunt you will go away, and the ache when they pass out of your life as quickly as they entered and leave you alone with your ghosts again.

The times you try so hard, with everything you have, and it still comes up short somehow.  

They see how empty it can leave you, how draining it is and how bruised and battered you are.

And they see you get up and somehow do it all over again, with resolve you didn’t even know you possessed.

But the stars knew.  After all, you are made up of them, constructed with atoms forged in their core.  

We are the stars.

And we knew all these things all along too.

The stars just want to remind their children of that, and that they love you and are proud of you and all that you truly are.