5/13/17

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

The stars know.

The stars know that everyone has something, some secret(or not so secret) pain that no one else can understand. You might try to talk about it, in hushed whispers to the one you love at night, when no one else is around. You might tell everyone you know, just hoping someone can help you make sense of it. You might keep it locked away forever, because you feel soiled, or foolish, or just hate yourself and the world so much for what you've had to live through and with for so long.

The stars know that there are no shortage of people that want you to just get over it and move on. They want to invalidate your pain, because it frightens them to think that it can exist, or simply because it's inconvenient. They know that there are people who will exploit your pain, and that often you will let them, just because it makes you feel like it matters to someone; to anyone, that it is acknowledged, even in a bad way.

The stars know that a part of you can ruin your life, simply because it wants to make you relive it. So you put yourself in bad situations, and damage yourself further, only because you want to somehow understand how someone could have done that to you in the first place. You want answers and reason where there may not be any.

The stars also know that no matter how the people that love you try to understand and commiserate, no matter how much they want to take that pain away… well, in the end, they usually fall short.

Because the stars know that we all have some pain that no one will ever come close to grasping. Try as they might, not one person in the world can ever put themselves in your situation and fully comprehend the horror and loss you've felt. No one can really understand what you've had to give up, or how the hardest choice you ever made still gnaws at you all the time. No one could ever imagine the thing that was taken from you, and you'll never have it back. You'll never remember how it felt to be whole, you just know now that you're not.

And sometimes, very rarely, someone comes along that does understand. They can show you the same scars and nod in agreement. They can even make it alright, if you give them the chance.

The stars know that by then, it's often too late. You have been let down so many times, and your hopes have been dashed once too often, and now you'll never let that one person you've been searching for your whole life in to share your pain now that you've found them.

Because how could they know? No one knows. It's your pain, your secret, your anchor and curse that only belongs to you. It's who you are now, and you're never going to let it go.

So the thing that no one can ever know keeps you in its hold, no one's fault and everybody's fault, the thing that defines you that you can never quite define yourself.

And that's how you'll live your life, all of us, different but the same, alone in a crowd, and unknowable to anyone where it counts the most.

The stars know.