4/2/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you will see once again how fragile people are. You never know what is going to upset someone or strike them the wrong way. So many factors are involved. Things others have done to them in the past, their worldview, or just because they might be having a bad day. Sometimes you just can't help the fact that people find offense in something innocent you said or did.

What you can help is your reaction. We tend to get angry and think that others are being ridiculous, and sometimes they are. Instead of discussing and diffusing the situation, we make it worse. We turn it into something much bigger in our minds, and give it a lot of power that it wouldn't normally have. As in most things, we end up escalating it and at times we turn into the thing we are railing against.

When it happens again, try something different. Apologize for offending them and move on. Let it go. Being right is just your ego in overdrive. If you know you're right, what do you care if everybody else knows it? What makes you right in your world doesn't necessarily make you right in theirs.

True, in a perfect world, you could discuss and argue your point, but these days (and probably all days, really) most people aren't built to discuss and argue. Debate is a skill that is sorely lacking in this world. No one wants confrontation, and it's most likely because no one wants their own carefully crafted reality threatened.

And it's not our job to threaten it, to berate them, or to prove them wrong. That's on them. You have to understand that if you're going to attack what they believe themselves to be at their core, they are going to resist with everything they have. There's no way forward, and nothing to gain. You will see that they become irrational, and there's no way to argue with an irrational person.

So now you must decide if you can accept who people are, even with their flaws, or if you can't. Some people have no tolerance and burn bridges with a flamethrower, others will let people walk all over them. As with all things, it's best to live in the middle. Stay true to who you are, and be strong enough to walk away from an argument you can't win before it destroys your relationship.

But sometimes their wacky irrational stuff will conflict directly with your wacky irrational stuff and set off a chain reaction of anger and emotions that result in a scorched earth policy. When this happens, both of you are left with nothing. There is seldom a way out of it, or any way back. You then start looking for faults, and if you go looking for them you are sure to find them.

You have to be careful, because these situations create the memories that define your relationships going forward. Your perception of the people you feel wronged by will dictate how you see others and create red flags where there are none.

Some of us feel that the phrase “agree to disagree” is a cop out, and means you've failed to prove your point, or more accurately that they refuse to see it. By those rules, you are just as guilty though.

So even though it seems like admitting defeat, “agree to disagree” is all we have. If you want to keep the people in your life, if you want to get by in this world, you are going to have accept that, as much as it might go against everything you believe.

Otherwise, get used to living alone.

Capricorn:

Kale is not the answer for everything.