4/25/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you will deal with someone in your life that maybe shouldn't be in your life. We all have people that we keep on the fringes. People that you have a few things in common with, but aren't really close. You see them now and then, and you keep it casual and don't let them impact your life much. That's fine.

Then there are people in your life that have too much impact, who you surrender control to, who use and abuse you and don't care at all how you feel. Most of them can't even know how you feel, they are sociopaths and a few are even psychopaths, but we let them rule and punish us nonetheless.

So many of us are victims, and you shouldn't feel ashamed if you are, you shouldn't feel guilty about it, you should just get help. If you are in an abusive relationship it can be very hard to break free, and you are probably afraid that leaving might make it worse, and there's always a chance of that. Women get hurt or killed by abusive exes when they try to escape, and society fails sometimes when it is supposed to protect them.  I have known many women in these situations, and my heart breaks for them.  If you know anyone in this situation, please give them all the support you can.

It is a horrible situation, and it goes on much more often than you think it does. It is hard to extricate yourself from these situations, so the stars want to warn you about getting in them in the first place. They know that many times we get into bad relationships because of how we feel about ourselves in the first place. Childhood trauma, mental illness, and feelings of inadequacies can make you think you deserve to be treated badly. Or maybe no one ever told you differently, and you are just the latest in a long cycle of abuse you grew up watching around you. The abuse doesn't even have to be physical, and much of the shitty things people do to each other aren't even illegal, but they cause irreparable harm.

So examine the people in your life. Make sure they are on your side. Make sure they support you, and nurture you, and have your best interests at heart. If they hurt you, make sure they feel remorse and change their behavior before you forgive them and let them back in.

One of the biggest tip offs that you might be in a relationship with someone that doesn't think about your happiness is when they utter a phrase like “that's just the way I am” or “I can't help how I feel”.  That tells you that they are immature(or damaged) and unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions, and you should run fast in the opposite direction. They are basically telling you that they are done growing and fine with the fact that they are hurting others with their actions. That's not someone you want to be with. And if you are the person saying that to someone you think you love when they are hurt, congratulations. You are an asshole.

If someone is constantly dismissive with your feelings and tells you how crazy you are for feeling badly about something they did to you, you might want to put on your running shoes also. If everyone in your life tells you you're crazy, you might consider a psych evaluation, but if it's the same person over and over and it's the person that claims to love you most, there's a problem. They are manipulating you and trying to make you think you're the problem, because they don't want to admit it might be them or change their behavior. They have no honest answer for you that doesn't involve them accepting responsibility for their actions, so they blame you and don't care what it does to your mental state or your self esteem. They want you to have no self esteem, so you doubt yourself and just play along and keep quiet and stop making them think about what they're doing and ruining their good time.

Humans adapt to anything, and pretty quickly. They accept being hurt and they learn to live with doing the hurting. You might have to take a long, hard look at your life from time to time to see what you've become accustomed to, and then decide if you really like it or if you’re just used to it.

You should do it often, because if you get too comfortable in your role you might never get a chance to play a different one, and that would be a shame.