4/29/16

Today’s Horoscope

All Signs:

Today you will be reminded that you probably know nothing about yourself.  Right now.  By this very thing you are reading.  

Very few of us see ourselves as we really are.  There are some people that think they are wonderful and infallible, and they are simply narcissists and egomaniacs.  This is not for those people.  If that's you, you need work, and the stars will have helpful information for you someday, maybe, if you don’t piss them off too much.

The rest of us have no clue what we bring to the world.  We have no idea how amazing and impressive and important we are at all.  There are many reasons for this.  

One of the biggest reasons is that we are taught to be humble, and not think too much of ourselves.  The stars know that when people tell their kids this, their intentions are good, but they also know that it is often taken the wrong way.  The purpose of the lesson is supposed to be that you act humble, even though you know you are one bad mofo.  Too many people hear it as they are no better than anyone else and should not think much of themselves, and that’s just sad.  You are the only you there is, and you should love yourself fiercely. You should look in the mirror and like what you see, but more often than not people see someone else looking back at them, someone they think is never good enough.

I think the problem is that we are attacking it from the wrong end.  It is an attempt to make sure you don’t act like a jerk and flaunt your gifts in an attempt to make others feel bad, and that’s a good way to be, but telling someone that they should not think too highly of themselves is the wrong way to do it.  It would be better to teach us to just know our self worth and how great we all are.  Someone who is secure with themselves and knows who they are doesn’t feel the need to make others feel like less of a person to prop themselves up.  

So many of us go through life conditioned to feel bad whenever we like something about ourselves.  We think we shouldn’t get carried away, but we totally should.  We should feel like a champion whenever we deserve it, which is a lot of the time.  I know at some point someone will pipe up and go on about children receiving a trophy just for showing up, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.  It’s not that we should reward people for doing nothing, but we should reward them when they do something.  Not a trophy, just a small acknowledgement or a kind word to let them know they did good. We should build them up for doing good, for expressing themselves, for achieving some goal, so they learn that their achievements count for something.

We also carry so much guilt for things we have done wrong, and it makes us feel like we are bad people.  If you consistently do horrible things to other people, you might be a bad person, and you should work on that, but not many of us are nearly that terrible. Many times we end up feeling guilty and punishing ourselves for things we didn’t even do, or was nobody’s fault to begin with. There are a lot of people that love to shift the blame to you for their own shortcomings, and it's amazing how quickly we can start accepting that blame on a regular basis when we should be the ones getting the apology. Whenever you find yourself apologizing to someone that has done you wrong, you've lost. The battle, and yourself in the process.

And even if it was our fault, so what?  We are so quick to forgive others, why can’t we forgive ourselves?  Why do we expect so little of those around us and expect the impossible from ourselves?

We carry around so many false burdens that it’s no surprise that we think so little of ourselves.  Many people see themselves as something horrible, something no one could love if they knew the real you, even though we are loved by so many.  Some of us find it so hard to believe that anyone could think we are lovable.  

A lot of that comes from the fact that many people in your life try to control you with guilt from the moment you are able to grasp the concept.  It is a quick and easy way to get someone to fall in line, and it is so damaging and corrosive.  So many of us live day to day with a warped image of who we really are and we never get past it. We are never the monsters we think we are.  We are often made to feel guilty when we are in fact the victims.  The world can’t even let us feel sorry for ourselves.  We are told that is bad too, so we lock our pity away when we need it most.

It would be bad enough with these and all the other things we do to ourselves all the time, but we live in a world full of predators, that can sniff out these weaknesses and exploit them and manipulate you.  The world is full of monsters, and if we are strong and know who we are, we can navigate around them, but so few of us are.  We are weak and frightened, and we know that we can’t trust ourselves, so we fall victim time and time again.  

The monsters are not just evil people either.  They are insidious things, images on TV that tell you that you don’t measure up to some unachievable ideal. Put downs and insults levied at others in an attempt to be funny, but they take their toll as your mind puts yourself in someone else’s place and you think you deserve the same derision.  We see someone else’s talents and turn it into a reason to never try because we will never be as good as them.

So we go on, never seeing ourselves for who we really are, never giving ourselves credit for our victories, never daring to believe that we might be special and rare and beautiful.  

In a world of guilt, bullying, doubt, abuse, impossible ideals and exclusion, what chance do we have? If we can never see ourselves as we really are, what do we do?  

One thing we can do is to trust the people we love.  Most of us have people that truly love us, and I’m sure if you look closely enough there are times when you can see awe in their eyes.  I’m sure you have sat in stunned amazement at times when people you know have just blown the doors off of it.  It doesn’t have to be anything big and grandiose either.  Sometimes you are floored by just a little thing, sometimes no one else notices it, but you do, and you are gobsmacked that someone that wonderful and precious exists in the same world you do.

Well, that’s how others see you too.  You are full of wondrous and special things, be they big and loud or quiet and inspiring, and people see it. You need to see it too, and believe it when people compliment you or tell you how great you are.  

I know a lot of people, and almost every one of them has stopped me in my tracks at one point or another and made me think “wow, I wish I could do something that cool someday.”  But I have done something that cool, or that caring, or that impossible, or that selfless, or that amazing, and so have we all.  But as soon as we do it we tell ourselves to forget it and not be conceded or prideful about it.  So it shrinks from the light and we can’t see it when we need it most.  

We get told this same lesson every day, from loved ones, from movies and plays, from books and cartoons, from every Disney movie ever made, but it never seems to sink in.  We are special.  We are unique.  We are amazing and wonderful.  We are loved.  We all have our own skill set and talents, we just need to see it and acknowledge it and embrace it.

In sure every one of you has said to someone, or had someone say to you “I wish you could see you through my eyes”. The thing is, we can. We just need to pay attention, and believe the people we love, not the messed up part of our brain ruled by fear. It takes effort, but if someone takes the time to show you how special you are, and if you're not too far gone to be reached, you will soon start to see yourself the way they see you. We owe it to the people in our life to make them see that, and we deserve the same gift.

The stars see it.  They see all of it, and they sit in quiet wonder and watch us with the same awe in which we watch them and they wonder why we can’t see it too.  We all shine in a way that they never could, and they understand the magnificence of that, even if we can’t.

So next time you look in the mirror, don’t see the you that your poisoned mind insists is there.  When you are out somewhere, don’t imagine yourself as that boring person that has nothing to add to the conversation.  Don’t think of yourself as ugly or wrong or something less than everyone else around you.  Don't ignore all the good things and fixate on one blemish. Let all that go for a moment, and just think of yourself as that incredible, one of a kind, people are lucky to have you person that you always wished you were.  I know that’s not going to be easy, but what do you have to lose?

And when you do, the earth won't crumble, the sky won't fall. No one will read your mind and chastise you for thinking you're pretty cool. Your parents or a bully or your old Sunday school teacher will not pop up behind you and tell you to knock it off. Those people hold no sway anymore, it's you that's stifling yourself now. So tell that person to shut the hell up and leave you alone already. You've got more important things to do, like finally be the person you want to be, the person you've been all along but just couldn't see clearly.

So many people like you. The stars like you. I like you. You might find you really like yourself too, if you just give yourself half a chance.