4/28/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you will have your expectations unfulfilled yet again. Most of its go through life haunted by past trauma, some small and some absolutely staggering. They all likely have one thing in common: there will be no resolution.

We spend the rest of our lives trying to come to grips with some horrible thing someone has done to us, or some situation where blind chance hurt you or someone you love. We replay it over and over again in our minds, trying to understand why they would do that to us. How they could be so cruel. How they be so uncaring and not racked with guilt. Why we meant so little to them, or why the people that were supposed to protect us stood by and let it happen.

Chances are, you will never get those answers. You will never get an apology. People will sympathize with you, they will try to help you, they will give you all the love on their heart, but it won't matter. You will never get the one thing you want to hear from the only person you need to hear it from.

So life will go on, and this unresolved issue will eat at you, and consume you, and your life and growth will stall as you devote so much of your energy to thinking “why me?”.

You might get so used to it that you don't even notice it anymore. You might punish yourself, and others; or try to drown it out with drugs or alcohol or reckless behavior, and not even realize why. You might even end your life because you just can't live with it anymore.

But you can.

The stars know how much misery and pain these situations cause us. They know it seems unbearable at times. They know that our minds are such that they tell us that we need answers and resolution, and our brains will pick and nag at us and resist any attempt to let it go.

But they know that we must. In order to take back the power we've given these things we have to make our peace with the fact that we are never going to get an explanation or apology. Instead of asking “how could they have done that?” we need to ask “why am I continuing their work?”.   We are now carrying on the torment and abuse first inflicted on us. We are now the ones ruining our chance at happiness.

The stars are frustrated seeing the future, because they don't just see the future that comes to pass, they see all the possible futures that could exist. They sigh everyday as they watch us pass up the futures with glorious and joyous outcomes to pick the same gray road we inevitably choose to plod down yet again.

So you need to accept that you probably won't get your answer, that no matter how long you poke and prod, there will be no moment that ties everything up in a nice little bow. That ship has sailed, so wave it goodbye and see what other ships await you at the docks.

This might be the single greatest thing you ever do for yourself, and it also might be the hardest. Letting go of that rage and pain, that sadness and confusion, that precious and excruciating torment that you've nurtured all these years. Giving up and putting it away and never going back to check on it again. It seems impossible, and goes against all of our self-defeating instincts, but it must be done if we ever want to be free and live our lives to the fullest.

Or we can just keep traveling that road in the dark, never seeing the beautiful and wonderful pathways the stars try to illuminate for us everyday.