Wednesday, May 18, 2016

5/18/16

Today’s Horoscope
All Signs:
Unless you’re an actual detective, today is the day you should stop being a detective.
When you have kids, you need to be a detective sometimes. At some points in their lives, because of peer pressure or insecurities or just because they’re kids, children will hide things from their parents. It is your job sometimes to try to figure out what they are up to. You observe their eating, sleeping and socializing habits, you might even look through their stuff if it gets very worrisome, although that should probably be a last resort. That is your job as a parent. You have to keep an eye on their behavior and try to discern what’s really going on in their lives and if they are in trouble.
You might find that you are doing the same thing with adults. Your family, friends and lovers. You are constantly wondering why they do what they do, or if they have some secret life you don’t know about. Are they lying, are they cheating, are they doing something behind your back?
Instead of driving yourself crazy examining everything they say or do, you need to resolve that stuff quick. They are adults. Ask them what’s going on, and try not to accuse. You only accuse if you have solid proof, if not you will lose your position and doubt yourself when they deny it. If you don’t believe what they are telling you, demand proof or walk away.
If someone loves you, they will work with you to calm your fears or worries. It is a very dangerous game though. People do not like being accused of things they aren’t doing, and they especially don’t like being accused of things that they are doing. What it really comes down to is that there is a trust problem, and if it persists longer than the initial “getting to know someone” part of a relationship it usually never gets better.
So you will be trapped in a tense, chaotic relationship that is doomed from the beginning, and you will spend all your days analyzing clues and chasing shadows. Life is too short for that. Being a detective is a full time job, and it doesn’t leave much time for anything else.
You might also get so caught up in it that you start seeing crimes everywhere. If you are constantly looking for transgressions you will find them, whether they exist or not. No one is going to put up with that for long. No one is going to keep taking the same test with no right answers.
If you have trust issues no matter who you’re with, then you should work on that. You might have a problem, either with trusting anyone or picking the wrong people again and again. If you are with someone that is acting untrustworthy, you need to find out what’s causing that. So many times we know the answer, but we don’t want to face it. We question and doubt what we’re sure of, only because to admit the truth would hurt too much.
So we live a tormented life, between searching for clues and trying to ignore them once we find them. Part of being in a relationship, and kind of relationship, is building trust and not being averse to proving it once and awhile. We have all been lied to, betrayed, and at times treated like dogshit by people we thought loved us more than anything. Any mature, loving person recognizes this and does not have a problem reassuring you when you are scared it might happen again. On the opposite side of the coin, any mature, loving person will come to accept that not everyone in the world is out to screw you over and will let themselves trust those who prove trustworthy.
Any good detective knows that you should trust your gut. Any good detective knows that you can’t go around shouting “Aha!” at everyone. Any good detective knows how to interpret the evidence and decipher the clues and look for patterns. Any good detective knows when to eliminate a suspect from the investigation if they arrive at too many dead ends and there is nothing there. Any good detective knows when someone is lying to them. Any good detective knows to remain impartial and not let emotions cloud the investigation.
The stars want to remind you that very precious few of us are good detectives. We lack the training, we are too close to the case, we have no instincts. We are flailing, so we should not get into situations with anyone where we need to be detectives because we will almost surely fail ourselves and our many suspects.

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