3/29/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today someone will do something unexpected. Or will they? Perhaps they will do the same thing they always do and you will rationalize it once again. Maybe they will behave in the exact way you knew they would all along, but didn't want to admit. Maybe, you will just write it off and be just as surprised the next time when they repeat the behavior.

Many of us go through our lives acting out a game with ourselves. We put up with disappointing behavior from those we love. We constantly hope for a different outcome, but we never really get it, and we tell ourselves that it's just the way it goes.

We make excuses for them, and for us too. We live in a constant state of indecision and suffer through feelings of inadequacy and doubt. We wonder if it's something we're doing wrong, and sometimes we convince ourselves it's what we deserve.

Sure, there are plenty of times when people are just tired, or overlook something, or simply feel like doing something selfish and for themselves. You can't expect others to live their lives for you 24/7, and you can't expect them to read your mind. You have to make allowances now and then.

But if you find yourself making allowances and excuses for someone over and over, then maybe that person is not for you. It might be that they are a pretty horrible person, it might be that they have mental health issues, or it might just be that they are not the right person for you. Be it friend or lover, sometimes people turn out to be something other than what we thought they were.

Instead of moving on, we cling to them and try to convince ourselves that they are what we want, and that things will be better tomorrow, but they seldom are. We try to make them something they're not, and we're hurt when they just keep on being themselves.

It's your job to decide what you want from those around you, and then figure out if you're getting it. If you're not, chances are you're not going to. Even the best people are going to be true to who they are. Some people hate who they are, but their lives have lead them to a place where they can't be anything else. They are trapped inside themselves, and they try so hard to be what they think they should, but they can't do it. Not for long.

Just because they can't escape who they are doesn't mean you can't. Figure out what your needs are and go find people capable of meeting them.  And if you're one of those people trapped in your own head and hating that you can't live up to your or anyone else's expectations… maybe don't try. Be who you are, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else. There are very few absolute right and wrong things in this world. People come in all manner of flavors and varieties, and just because one person lives one way doesn't mean you can't live another.

Own up to who you are, and accept it if someone else isn't what you want them to be. Stop punishing yourself or someone else just because things aren't conforming to some weird ideal you forged in your head.

Most stars are surrounded by planets, and many of those planets are scorched and barren. Other planets are too far out, or their star is weak, and they are frozen wastelands. Occasionally one or two planets are a perfect fit with their star, and their atmosphere and magnetic field and fiery core enable them to flourish and grow. The thing is, planets and stars are paired up through the whims of the universe and physics. They have no choice.

We can choose what stars we orbit around. We can elect to be warm and comfortable, basking in the glow of a star that nurtures us and makes us bloom. Or we can forever dance around an inferno, burning and scalding us, or sit too distant from a cold, barely glowing orb, forever in the cold.

As with all things, choose wisely, or you might be in for a long, unhappy ride.

3/26/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you will doubt yourself. Not at first. You will review the evidence, check it a million times, and you will be so sure you know what you know. It will be obvious.

Then you will accuse someone, or change your life path, or simply make a decision about what shirt to buy.

Then the doubt will set in. Was that person really guilty? Did I just leave a good job for a bad one? Does this shirt make me look fat? A thousand thoughts will suddenly stream through your mind, making you wonder where they were a moment ago when you were so sure you had it all figured out.

Reasons are a funny thing. You think they make sense, you think they have all the angles covered. You repeat them over and over, but as soon as you commit to an action based on them you see holes in the logic everywhere. Why?

Perhaps we don't want to believe the truth. Perhaps we let emotion or pride cloud our choices. Perhaps we are just full of insecurities and lack the faith in ourselves that we should have.

Or maybe it's just that we have to face the fact that we don't ever really know. There are very few situations where you actually know if everything informing your decision is absolutely true. You can't even trust yourself in many situations. So you make your best guess and sometimes you're right and sometimes it's all horribly wrong.

The stars have no concrete answers for you in this instance. You just have to do the best you can to get it right, and if you don't, hope that you have forgiving people in your life or that you can reverse course if you need to.

If it helps, the stars want you to know that they have been watching us get it wrong over and over and it's very seldom a matter of life or death. If you keep getting the same thing wrong over and over, you might have a problem. Conversely, if it seems like you are getting the same thing wrong over and over, it might be the other person. People will lie to you and make you doubt yourself. Some people are very good at it. Either way, something has to change.

You can't go through your life messing up your relationships, and you can't go through your life lying to yourself about a bad relationship. As always, the best thing to do is discuss it with friends that you can trust. They can often tell you if you're on the right track, especially if enough of them tell you the same thing.

Ultimately though, it's all up to you, and you better do your best to get it right and stick to it if you believe it's the right decision. You're going to find out sooner or later how you did, one way or the other, there's no doubt about that.

The stars wish you luck.

3/23/2016

Today’s Horoscope

All Signs:

Today you will be reminded once again how special and unique you really are.   Sadly, it won’t be in a fulfilling way and it won’t seem like a positive experience.  We are all the same in so many ways, but in some crucial ways we are all very different and alone.  We all have our own minds, and they have formed their opinions and interests and have the things that are important to them, listed in their own particular order.  We have all lived a life trajectory exclusive to us, and everything we have experienced has informed who we are at our core.

So throughout your life you will do or say something formed in your special and unique mind and you will be shocked at the underwhelming response it receives.  Someone will stare back at you with a blank look that says they missed the point entirely.  If you really start paying attention you will see that not many people share your passions, and not usually to the same degree that you do.  

You are guilty of it too.  Many times when people are talking to us we are just waiting for them to finish so we can start talking again.  Much of human interaction is an old social contract of “you pretend to care about my stuff and I’ll pretend to care about yours.”

Social media has made it so much worse.  We are used to instant responses to whatever pops into our minds and we think that maybe people are waiting to hear what we have to say, when in reality it’s mostly just a diversion for many that are just trying to make it through another day at work.  Narcissism is rampant online, and we are all guilty of it, even though most people don’t really understand what narcissism entails.  

We also have to understand the reality of people liking things.  If a movie is a blockbuster you would have to assume that it is widely popular and beloved by the majority of people in the world.  Well, take the new Star Wars film.  It sold about 107 million tickets.  Now take a third of those and figure they are repeat viewers.  That’s about 70 million people.  Worldwide.  There are over 7 billion people on the planet, and while they aren’t all in a position to pop off to the local cinema and see Star Wars, that’s a pretty small percentage of people that really care about it.  Let’s be really conservative and say only 1 billion people had an opportunity to see it.  That’s still about 7 percent of the available audience that even cared enough to go see the new Star Wars.  And that is one of the biggest movies of all time.  

Even hit TV shows are only watched by a tiny fraction of the population.  So if only one or two of your friends seem interested in something you do then you are probably doing better than most of the biggest hits out there.  Simply put, not everyone is going to get it all the time.  That’s no reason to get discouraged or to stop being who you are.  You shouldn’t be passionate about things based on if other people share your passion anyway.  You shouldn’t do things because of what others think, be who you are because it makes you happy, and if a tiny group of people think you’re doing okay, take solace in the fact that you’re most likely doing better statistically than the Star Wars franchise.  

All these differences is what makes up life and makes it worthwhile and sometimes surprises you just when you thought you’ve seen it all.  It’s nice to have friends and family that see things the way you do, but it’s equally important to have friends and family that see things another way.  Don’t take it personally when you don’t reach someone with the same thing that motivates or interests you.  See what motivates and interests them and maybe you will discover something important you somehow missed before.  

The stars shine whether you are looking at them or not.  You can look up at night and see a billion stars blazing in our galaxy, yet there are a trillion galaxies containing trillions of stars that we never even see.  Those stars don’t care.  They shine on in some corner of the universe, perhaps giving their light to a few dead planets, yet they shine on just the same.  

We should too, because even though we may not get a pat on the back for it, there is always someone out there that needs to see that light and have it help them through the darkness.

3/21/16

Today’s Horoscope

All Signs:

Today, maybe take a little time for yourself and think about what you’ve been doing for the past week, month, or year.  However long it’s been since you took a self inventory.  From time to time you should just drop out for a bit if you can, and clear up all the clutter in your head.  Everything you experience is a chance to learn, about life, about others, about yourself.  

Thing is, we don’t always have time to learn everything we can at the particular moment it’s happening, and some new thing pushes it to the back where your memories and emotions build up into a huge backlog that gums up the works.  

Life is a “figure it out as you go” type of thing, but usually you are just thinking on the fly and using duct tape and safety pins to get you through whatever particular thing is happening to you at the time.  Then the next thing hits you and you’re on to patching new holes to keep your ship afloat.

So when you can, take some time to just sit and think about what you’ve been through, and what you’re dealing with now.  Glean any insight out of your experiences.  It is a much clearer picture when you take it all in as a whole rather than trying to make life decisions as turmoil is all around you.  You can study your actions, and see if what you have been doing has been effective, or helpful, or gotten you anywhere.  You might be startled to see that you’ve been doing the same thing over and over, and getting the same lousy results.  

You might also see that things aren’t as bad as you thought, and you might discover that the thing you fear has already happened over and over again and you were so busy worrying and keeping your head above water that you never noticed that it really has no power over you anymore.  

You might discover that someone in your life isn’t really that important or good for you and you might also come to find that the person you have been taking for granted is really the best thing you have right now.  

You can take stock and see what you’ve been neglecting and what you have been wasting precious time and energy on. You can figure out how to be a better person, to others, and to yourself.  

You can look at your habits and expenditures, and realize that some of the things you have been doing aren’t really bring you pleasure, you are just so used to doing them that you never stopped to think about whether they fulfill you anymore.  You can cut out expenses for things you don’t bother with but never cancelled your subscriptions or changed your cable or phone services.  

Most importantly, you can take the time to finally face all those nagging little questions you have.  Resolve the shit that has been chirping away at you in the back of your mind.  Categorize them, organize them, look them up and down and in the eye and settle it.  Once it’s settled, put it away and clear some space, because the new crap never stops coming in.

Your mind has to be free and not weighed down by the past and by worries that have been there for so long that they have metastasized into something that you can’t even recognize anymore.  If your mind is free of all that old clutter it is able to guide you better, help you see things more clearly, help you be there for yourself and the people that need you.

Life is about letting shit go, pure and simple.  You can’t be happy or productive or healthy if you are dwelling on things whose time has come and gone.  Reliving the past is a fool’s game. The moment is gone, and it’s never coming back, so sit down, look directly at it and make your peace with it.  Then file it away and move on, because the world hasn’t ever stopped turning to wait for you.  If you don’t put your things away, you will spend you life tripping over them and banging into them in the dark.  Then one day you will wake up to find that all your life has passed you by and you’re left with nothing but a head full of distorted and painful memories, and who you really are is lost amongst them, trying to find their way out.  

3/14/2016

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you might find yourself feeling sad. Let's face it, there are a lot of things in life to be sad about. So go ahead and be sad for a while. Somewhere along the way we seem to have gotten the idea that we should be happy all the time.

We especially hate seeing those we love feeling sad. We are constantly trying to cheer up our friends, significant others, our children, even complete strangers. It's as if we can't stand to see someone looking sad. A sad looking puppy will push our emotions into overdrive.

Being sad is part of life, and an important one. It helps us work through grief or problems. It can connect us more deeply to others and ourselves. Through sadness, we can examine why and how we feel like we do, and figure out just what is important us.

When we immediately rush to eradicate sadness in those around us, we are usually doing more harm than good. You are rewarding sadness with attention, and that can create a situation where someone correlates being sad with love, so they subconsciously (or very consciously) act sad to get your attention. Trying to cheer someone up can also have the opposite effect you want. If someone feels bad to begin with, your constant efforts to make them feel better can actually make them feel worse. It can put pressure on them and make them feel guilty, like they are bringing you down with them.

Being sad from time to time also helps you appreciate when you're not. It tells you what things you might need to change in your life, and what people and situations to avoid. Sadness is a tool, a warning mechanism, a way to bond, a force for positive change. In some areas it should be encouraged rather than eradicated. It is better to be sad and empathetic than it is to cut off your emotions and not care at all. Repressing your emotions is not usually a good thing.

That said, if you are sad all the time, you might have something else going on and need to talk to someone. There's no shame in that at all. If everything makes you sad, you are either in a really bad situation or you're not seeing things rationally. Whichever it is, it has to change.

So if you are sad now and then, embrace it and examine it and let it do its thing or figure out if it's because of some behavior or decision in your life you can change. If someone you know is sad now and then, tell them you love them and let them know you are there if they need you without being demanding or judgmental. Let it run its course so you don't stunt yourself or others.

You might find that being sad occasionally is part of the path to being happy.

Capricorn:

How many shows do you need on your dvr? If you haven't watched them by now, you're not going to.

3/11/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you should give someone the benefit of the doubt.  I’m not talking about just anybody, some random person you hardly know.  I’m talking about people you care about.  People you love.  People you are invested in.  The world is messed up place, and there are so many things to be on guard for.  We are all frightened.  Frightened of change, frightened of being hurt, frightened of being let down.  There are many times that we jump the gun and assume the worst, and we do it to people we know and supposedly trust.  We project past hurts and societies ills on them, when there is no need for it.  

Our friends are the only safe haven and insulation we have from all the bad things out there.  We should take comfort in them, but the world has many of us in a state where we see devils everywhere, even in the people closest to us.  

So often there is a misunderstanding, especially with texting and social media, where there is no emotion or intent to pick up vocally.  We don’t see the person’s face when they tell us something, and an emoticon is a poor substitute.  There’s an old expression, “smile when you say that”, and it means something.  No one can tell if you’re smiling in a text or a post, so often what was an innocent comment is taken the wrong way.  People see sarcasm, scorn, mockery, and a host of other things in what many times are just offhand comments, not meant to offend or belittle anyone.

So why are we quick to assume the worst from people we are close to?  It’s like a never ending test, and it can only end with failure.  

Even when intent is clear, people instantly assume the worst.  We live in a world now where everything seems to be my way or no way.  You see it in politics especially. There is no compromise or concession on any side, and everything stalls.  The public has taken up that mantle, and it bleeds into our everyday life now.

We base our relationships on whether people agree with all our views, so of course when we come upon something we don’t agree on that relationship suddenly comes into scrutiny.  Once you start scrutinizing something, you usually don’t stop until you find something, real or imagined.  One of the great aspects of society and the success of the human race is diversity, and that applies to everything, especially viewpoints,opinions and ideals.  We should listen to them all and take the best parts of each.  No one person is absolutely right about everything, but we all seem to live in our little bubbles these days where we surround ourselves with people that are in essence sycophants, that reassure each other that our way is the right way.  

So many of us get our information from left or right wing sources.  That is dangerous, because they are telling you what you want to hear and you’re never exposed to the other side of the story.  If you’re a liberal berating conservatives that watch only Fox News, but you are getting all your information from a site or channel that only tells the story with your spin on it, you are no better.  Journalism used to be about impartiality, and that doesn’t seem to exist much anywhere in our world today.

We also seem to take shortcuts and only pay lip service to many of our ideals.  We can say we are caring and all inclusive and like our heroes, but when the time comes to be that way we have to live up to our words.  Many of us don’t.

Even when someone unmistakably disagrees or gets angry with you, take a moment to remember why you are friends in the first place.  Realize that people are never going to act like you want them to all the time, and you have to overlook some things now and then.  If you expect everyone in your life to think exactly like you, and live up to some perfect image you have of them, you are in for a lot of disappointment and misery.  So instead of thinking that they are some horrible person and you never noticed it, assume that they have a reason for thinking like they do. There were a lot of different things those people saw and heard and lived through, different ideas and lifestyles they were exposed to, different traumas and joys that shaped their lives, long before they met you.  They are informed by a whole other lifetime, and might live by a whole other set of rules than you do.

If they are your friend, and have proven that they love you and have earned your trust, treat them like it.  Don’t be so quick to jettison them, or lash out, or put them in box with people you hate just because they don’t always tell you what you want to hear and have the feelings you want them to have.  

The stars burn on for eons, and they know that every little problem is not the end of the world.  It is an opportunity.  They watch civilizations and empires rise and fall.  They see natural disasters and mass extinctions.  They see war and pestilence and the horror that life can bring.  They see us, with our tiny lifespan and brief moment of consciousness and they wonder how in the world we can be so callous and careless about friendship and love.  With all the things that can go wrong in the world, hold onto your friends with all your might.  

Give them, and yourselves, the benefit of the doubt.  After all , you picked these people as your friends, and when they fail you, you fail too.  Put a little work into it and be someone that they want as in their lives as well.  If you want someone you can count on, be someone they can count on.  And if we fail from time to time, forgive and forget if you can, and grow together and strengthen your bond.  Giving up and walking away only stunts your growth as well as theirs and leaves unresolved issues you will have to deal with sooner or later.  Whether you notice those issues or not, you better believe other people will.  

Wouldn’t you like those people to be on your side?

3/9/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you might find yourself doing some good deed and feeling proud of yourself. We should be proud of ourselves when we do good, there's nothing wrong with that. When we help others less fortunate, when we help a person or an animal in distress, when we are there for someone that needs it, or fight for a cause for those that have no voice, it's too be congratulated. It could be something as simple as holding a door for someone or as serious as saving a life. All good deeds matter.

The stars do not tell you to feel humble about it either. One of the reasons people do good deeds is because it makes you feel good about yourself. That's your reward, and you've earned it. You have every right to hold your head up and high five yourself. Most of the time no one else is going to notice your good deed anyway, so don't do them expecting rewards. Do them because it's the right thing to do, and give yourself credit.

All that said, you have to be careful you don't get carried away with yourself. Sometimes you see demons where there aren't any, and you fight for a cause when there is none. The world is full of people with misguided intentions, and while they think they are fighting the good fight they are merely making a mess of things. People can do the right thing for the wrong reasons, but also the wrong thing the the right reasons. It's not a good deed if its at the expense of other people.

If the sole reason you are doing something nice is to pat yourself on the back and show the world how wonderful you are, you're not that wonderful. You're selfish, and a borderline egomaniac. There are some people that get into charity work so that they can stand around with a bunch of others and form a mutual admiration society to reassure themselves that they are good people. That's not the reason you help others.

Helping others is hard work, and I'm proud to know a good many people that really help others and make a difference. They are to be commended, and they seldom are, because most of their work goes unnoticed because they don't advertise it. They don't do it so others see them as some sort of social warrior or condescending do gooder, they do it because it's the right thing to do.

There are a lot of people that talk about helping and caring, and there are people that are actually out there doing it. And if you can't get out there and do it, give your support and maybe a few dollars to those that are.

And give yourself a well deserved pat on the back for actually making a difference.

Pisces:

Happy Birthday!

3/8/2016

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you will be aggravated or disappointed.  It can’t be helped.  The world will never live up to your expectations, no matter how low you set the bar.  The problem with people is that they are very unpredictable, and that’s to be expected, but we all seemed shocked when it happens.  Everyone is crazy, and that’s an issue right there, because they aren’t really crazy, they just think differently than you.  Okay, a few are batshit crazy, but not most people.  Most people are unpredictable because they have no clue who they are or what they want themselves.  Many of us are just driven by whatever we feel right now, with no thought to how that will affect ourselves and others, and whether there’s even a valid reason to want to do it in the first place. We seem to become more and more impulsive and selfish all the time, ready to drive ourselves off a cliff and into misery.

I’m not sure why that is, but it’s not good.  For ourselves, for our loved ones, for the world in general.  So if you spend your life worrying about the impact your words will have on others, and trying to think about what consequences your actions might bring, you will get run over by the rest of the world that doesn’t do any of that work.  

The smarter and more caring you are, the unhappier you will be whenever life points it out to you. The more caring and smart you are, the more you realize that most of the world is not.  The more caring and smart you are, the more you will be loved by others, and then resented by those same people.  The more consistent you are in your life, the more others will revile you for it because it magnifies the haphazard way they careen through life, and how confused they get when they burn their fingers yet again.  

Being the caring soul you are, you might start worrying that you are to blame.  That you are somehow responsible for these people’s misery, that you feel unwanted or alone because they take their inability to cope with the world and act like human beings out on you.  It can really upset you, and get you down at times.  

But there is hope.  Life is a rich pageant, which is a kind way of saying it is an absurd freak parade, and once you stop expecting it to make sense, the happier you will be.  You won’t always be right, and you won’t always be wrong, but that’s not what’s important here.  It never was.  Admitting you’re wrong when you’re wrong is important, and knowing when you’re right and not letting others make you feel bad for it is equally important.  If you go through life never realizing when you’re wrong, or never understanding that your self worth is not based on others always agreeing with you, you are going to be unhappy most of the time.  

To that end, don’t surround yourself with people that just agree with you all the time.  People do that, and they do it for a multitude of reasons.  Because of their own insecurities, or because they are part of a weird symbiotic relationship with you where you both enable each other’s bullshit.  Because they want to fit in, because they have no opinions of their own, because they want something from you.  There are a million reasons why people will tell you what you want to hear, and you will wind up living in an echo chamber, where you never grow, where you never live outside your own stunted reality.  

You have to become adept at looking at your own motives, as well as the motives of others, and if you do that you will begin to understand just how absurd life really is.  Once you understand that, you are free.  Free from fear, free from doubt, and free from having to run and hide the minute someone else challenges your outlook or opinion.  Free from changing your own ideals just so someone else will like you, and joining in the pack when the mob forms.  Life is a constant search for people that believe in the same things you believe. We can lose sight of the fact that it doesn’t mean we want shallow people that simply tell us what we want to hear.  We should want people with the same ideals and values, that challenge themselves, and challenge you when they feel it’s warranted.  When they do challenge you, they should be prepared to listen, just like you should.  

You will often find yourselves in arguments with people that refuse to acknowledge your point, and respond directly to your questions, and that is not something you want in your life.  Those people have no answer, and refuse to change their minds, so they just ignore what they don’t like and repeat what they want to believe.  There is no growth or resolution to be had, only unhappiness and misery as you beat your head against a wall.

The stars know all about this.  They are all different, and tug at each other across vast distances, but they all basically perform the same function.  They have their disagreements, but they do not let it get in the way of running the universe in it’s beautiful and intricate dance.  They do not shun, they do not exclude, they do not run and hide.  They don’t have to.  They know who they are, and they proudly show us all, blazing across a billion light years of space in their hard won confidence and certainty.  

We should do the same.  Know who you are, respect the people that have done the work themselves, and just shake your head and feel a little bad for the others, charging their way through the cosmos with no orbit, and no firm place in it.

Pisces:

The “All You Can Eat” buffet is not a challenge.

3/5/2016 Saturday Night

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Tonight you might find yourself being bored. For most people, that's not a problem. For most people, it's just a chance to read a book or catch up on the TV shows waiting on your dvr. Worst case, you go to bed early.

There are some people where boredom is a big problem, though. For instance, if you are a recovering alcoholic or addict, boredom is very bad news. If you are trying to overcome some bad behavior, brought on by whatever reason, ptsd, self esteem issues, etc, boredom can derail your life.

It is harder for you, because you are probably trying to avoid bad influences in your life. You have had to cut yourself off from situations or people you liked, but they were no good for you. Your options are limited, and you still probably miss it all.

If you give your brain time to think, it can think up some very bad ideas indeed. It seems to want to sabotage you every chance it gets. Boredom is its best opportunity. You will find your brain telling you that life used to be exciting. Drug use, risky sexual behavior, any kind of dangerous activities really, can seem like just the answer to your slow night at home. A few dull hours can undo months of work.

Your mind starts telling you that a couple of drinks won't hurt. The person that's no good for you isn't that bad, are they? You find yourself calling someone that still parties, just to say hi… and you've done it again. Messed your life up.

Maybe your brain tells you to do it so you don't feel old anymore. Maybe it tricks you into thinking that lapsing into bad behavior will just be a one time thing, for old time’s sake. Maybe it will make you feel vital, and young, and free. It won't, not for long anyway. Whatever it tells you, it's lies.

And this is the point where the stars can't help you. They can offer advice, and they try to warn you, but only you can make a decision and stop yourself from doing something you'll regret.

Obviously, I can't tell you to find something to do that will occupy your time. If there was something to do, you'd be doing it. Many times there are things to do, but your brain nixes them and tells you how lame it will be and to not even bother. Your brain will try to entice you with the carrot, and if that doesn't work, it will bring out the stick. It will cruely tell you that no one could love you, and you're never going to be any good, so why try at all? That's not true. All the stars can tell you is that's not real, that's a trick for your brain to get some dopamine by causing bad behavior, no matter what the cost to your well being. It wants you to say “why bother fighting it. Give in and feel young and exciting again!”

But it's not real. Don't believe what your head is telling you. Fight it any way you can. Call a friend or a family member, just to talk to or hang out with until the feeling passes. Call me if you want. I have been through and seen just about everything in this world, and I don't judge and I don't blame. Call a support line, if that sounds like a better option to you.

It might sound lame, and not that much fun, but if worse comes to worse, clean your room, organize your closet, clean out your refrigerator, do some exercise. You will feel better about yourself, because not only did you avoid your bad behavior, you accomplished something. I know it doesn't sound sexy, but it really works!

Just don't sit by yourself and try to take on your brain one on one, you will most likely lose. Then the next thing you know you will wake up in the morning, broke, beaten or disgusted with yourself, and it will be harder the next time. Please don't do that to yourself. No one has to be alone. That is a choice, and it will lead to a lot more bad choices if you're not careful.

3/5/16

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you may find yourself looking down on another human being. We all do it. I suppose it's natural. We are all better at something than someone else, or we like to think so.

Judging others is part of society. It is the backbone of our legal system. It plays a huge part in any competition, athletic, artistic, or otherwise. When you put yourself out there in any creative way, you are going to be judged and criticized, there's no way to avoid it. Those situations are essential to policing society, or because people willingly entered into a contest or put part of themselves out there and asked or expected to be judged.

     There are a million other ways to be judged, and many of them happen without you even knowing it. We judge each other on such superficial things like the clothes we wear, or our hair style, or some perceived lack of refinement.   We categorize and label people and stick them in the box we decide they belong, based on looks or social status. We will write someone off just because of the car they drive or what TV shows they like.

     We do it based on their race, or their income, where they live or on their choice of lifestyle.

     Instead of celebrating people's diversity and differences, we silently (or not so silently) mock and belittle them for things they cannot control, or more often the case, shouldn't have to defend.  

     I'm not saying you don't have the right to judge others. You do. Sometimes that judgement is perfectly healthy. You should examine the people that you give control over parts of your life. You should judge if they're worthy of your respect, your friendship, or your love. You should figure out whether someone should be allowed to run roughshod through your life, rather than find out the hard way.

    What you should avoid is judging people you don't really know. You should avoid judging people just because it makes you feel better about yourself. As always, you should look at yourself before you look at others. There are plenty of times you don't like someone because they remind you of something you don't like in yourself, and that's a thing you should be aware of.

     I have met a lot of people in my life that many of you would call losers. Most of the time, losers are not really losers. They are simply someone having a hard time of it, but you don't see them at their high point, you just stumbled into them at their lowest. They could be people that were born into disadvantages right from the start. Maybe they are saddled with burdens you don't understand. Perhaps something really horrible may have just happened to them or a loved one, and you're one of the first people they've come across since. They are upset and confused, and how you treat them will define how they see themselves, perhaps for the rest of their lives. All they need is a little understanding, or at least to be left alone.

     And you respond by making them feel like shit. Your look of derision, or complete lack of understanding, your dismissal of them could have a very profound impact on the rest of their lives.

     Now I'm not saying it's your responsibility to go through life walking on eggshells and being a caretaker to every sad sack you come across. I'm not telling you to be a bleeding heart and let manipulative people walk all over you or take advantage of you. You need to protect and insulate yourself from some people, you do.

      I don't feel it's too much to ask of anyone though to take a few seconds and ask yourself why you're judging others you don't even know. Why you're so quick to label someone based on sight, or by one brief interaction. Especially if you find yourself judging a whole group of people based on what outside forces are telling you. Try to understand what informs your opinions, if anything. Some people like to think of themselves as a great judge of character, possessing some innate sixth sense or instinct that tells them all they need to know within moments of meeting someone. Those people are usually just assholes.

    If you find yourself judging others that have no bearing on your life, that are not hurting anyone, that are just trying to get through life as best they can, just like you are… well you might need to look at your own life. And if you think others are going to judge you based on those actions, you would be right.

     How does that make you feel?

Libra:

Dye your hair pink if you want. It's your goddamn hair.

3/2/2016

Today’s Horoscope

All signs:

Today you should take a vacation from yourself.  All of us.  Just have some time where you’re not consumed about things that stress you out.  This means not obsessing over things you can’t change right now, they will be there tomorrow for you to obsess over.  Even the important things.  There are very few things in life that need to be decided RIGHT NOW.  Sometimes letting a problem sit gives us a new perspective on it.  

Also, take a vacation from your guilt, or shame, or whatever negative feelings you are holding onto.  It is hard to let those go, but maybe if you know you are going to get your pain and misery back tomorrow, it will be nice to just let it all go for 24 hours.  Who knows, you might even like it and want to live that way more often.  

Take a vacation from trying to prove yourself right or change people’s minds.  We are often frustrated when others don’t see things our way, and we get caught up trying to convince them.  It is very hard to change people’s minds, and somebody is wrong 50% of the time in an argument, and law of averages says it has to be you on occasion.  So take a vacation from being right all the time.  You’re not.

Realize that the stars aren’t telling you to shirk your responsibilities.  You still have to make sure your kids and pets are taken care of.  Just figure out what you can put aside for a bit and put it aside.

We can’t all afford to go to the beach every weekend or fly to another country, but you can take a vacation from being the same thing, day in and day out.  No matter how wonderful you think you are, no one wants anyone 24/7.  Consistency is good, but like everything it can be overdone.  Be someone else for the day and see how you like it.  You might even find something you like about that person.    

2/28/2016

Today's Horoscope

All signs:

Today you should stop trying to predict the future. Strange advice, coming from a horoscope, but it's sound. I'm referring to the mental chess game you play in your head whenever you think about what you need or want to do; or when you imagine what life will be like a week, a year or decades from now.

Some of us are so adept at talking ourselves out of things. Big or little, we play a scenario out in our heads and arrive at what we think is a perfectly reasonable picture of the outcome. Then we don't do it, using our convoluted predictions as an excuse.

Something as simple as going to the movies or grabbing a bite to eat. We imagine the traffic on the way, trying to find a parking space, whether the meal or film will be worth the effort, the supervillain that might appear out of nowhere and take us hostage. You know, probable outcomes.

Then we don't do it, and we congratulate ourselves for avoiding all the hassle and annoyance. In reality though, we have cheated ourselves out of another one of life's little experiences. A lot of us tend to overthink things, and when we do, we tend to think of the negative. Not that it's not a good thing to assess what can go wrong, but often when we weigh the pros and cons, we focus on the cons.

We don't just do it with the small things. We will sometimes get lost in thought about our entire life trajectory, and in our minds eye our future seldom seems great. We will zero in on some tiny thing and magnify it until future us seems burdened by a hundred chains and afflictions, holding us back and telling us it might not be worthwhile.

Point is, that's not the future we're seeing. That is our fears and insecurities manifesting themselves once again. Holding us back. As usual, they are hiding in different guises, but they are doing the same old things.

The stars are magical. Well, it's not really magic, but it looks like magic to us, so let's just call it that. They can see the future. They want us to know that when you can truly see the future, it's almost never as bad as you think it is. The good outweighs the bad, and by a very large margin. Most of the time we are fooled by the illusion we create. In reality, the bad moments are only that, brief moments. We hold onto them though, and drag them along with us and they seem like an eternity. We can't just wade through them and let them go, we need to prolong them and relive them over and over. Then we base our predictions on that perception, not on what is real.

We need to stop creating a world where all the outcomes seem dark and predictable and pointless.

The future is written in the stars, and the stars are shining with a brilliance greater than anything else in the universe by a very large margin, so trust me when I tell you that your future is very bright indeed.

Aries:

Who cares if you didn't get the Hot Wheels racing set you wanted when you were eight? Let it go, already.