10/18/2015

Today's horoscope: (sorry, this one is a little longer than usual, and not as funny, but read it anyway)

All signs

Today you will encounter a friend or a family member or a coworker or anyone really and they will be sad, or upset, or angry. Not like you or I get sad or upset though. They will be struggling with depression, or Ptsd, or bipolar issues, or some other sort of problems that go beyond just having a bad day. Be as understanding and as kind to these people as possible.

You are extra kind to someone if you find out that they just got fired, or lost a loved one or a pet, or have to have an operation, or lost their home. Well, some of the people with these aforementioned afflictions feel like all of those things are happening at once, or worse, a lot of the time. Many of us are taught that we should "man up", or "just get over it" or "deal with it", and if you have no chemical imbalance or past trauma directing your thoughts and emotions, and that's okay advice sometimes.  But some of us have to deal with mental illness that makes it a million more times worse than you will ever have it. It is a struggle almost everyday for them to face the world. Sometimes it is a struggle for them to want to go on living in this world. Trust me, you have no idea.

We live in a world where there is a lot of horrible misconceptions about mental illness. There is no magic pill that will make things okay. Even the pills that help take a lot of trial and error to figure out and get the dosages correct, and sometimes this makes the situation much worse during the process. And even if you get it all straightened out, one day they could just stop working and you're back at square one. You can't just go to therapy and make it all okay by talking to someone. It's very hard work, and if you don't have the right therapist, and your traumatized brain isn't in a place where it can accept the help, it could all go for naught. Even if the whole therapy situation works out perfectly, did you ever stop to think about what it entails? You talk to someone who is essentially a stranger and you rip the scabs off of the most painful and horrifying things in your life, and relive them in minute detail. Then you go home for a week in that vulnerable state and try to hang on until you get to do it all over again in 7 days. Unless your therapist goes on vacation, then you just sit and stew longer.

Now realize that most people that are afflicted with these issues never get any help. The way mental health is treated in this country is appalling. Most people have no way of getting help, so they just suffer through life with no hope of ever having a chance to get healthy. They self medicate, or punish themselves, or live on the streets because they can't function and don't even understand why. They feel shame and embarrassment and blame themselves for something that isn't their fault and is just an unfortunate part of life.

And the rest of us? We get indignant, annoyed, self righteous, and we look down on them, and make the situation worse. In some ways the blame isn't on you, it's on society. We are never taught about this stuff and we are never made to understand that these people need to be treated like human beings with often debilitating problems, that could just use a little understanding and compassion, rather than scorn and ridicule. So if you're reading this, the blame is now squarely on you. You know now better. Human beings are the only creatures with a fully formed sense of self, which means we are capable of great empathy for others. Use that capability and stop judging and belittling people's problems that you don't understand.

On the flip side, it can be hard and frustrating for you. There are no magic words to make them feel better, they may lash out at you, they may just ignore you. We expect results and gratitude when we put ourselves out there for others, and in this instance you will probably get none of that. It is hard to help and provide care for someone with these issues, which causes a whole slew of secondary problems. So if you know of someone that has a family member or significant other or friends that they are trying to help through this, give them a break too. We are all just trying to make our way through a world that can deal some pretty harsh blows, and some of us are working with a crushing weight that you can't even begin to understand. Don't add to that weight.

You may think that whatever you do isn't helping or making a difference, but trust me, it is. Just not being an asshole is making a huge difference. But all the patience, and kindness, and just letting someone know that you love them even when their brains are screaming insults at them and they can't love themselves makes a difference. You might not see it, but it does.

So be supportive, and don't let it bother your delicate ego if they don't turn somersaults of joy and tell you how wonderful you are. Sometimes they will even resent you for it. But you are helping. And if they can't thank you right now, go buy yourself a cookie and pat yourself on the back, because you deserve it. There are support groups for people that have to care for loved ones dealing with this 24/7, so don't hesitate to get help for yourself too. You are truly helping someone when you do it with no expectation of a reward, and you should work on developing that attitude. Kindness is its own reward, remember?

So now that the power of astrology has opened your mind, use that gift that the stars have given you to make the world a little better for people suffering with this stuff, and at the same time making it a little better for yourself. Tell others and lead by example, and we can change the world, and you can be at the forefront, and all it takes is a little effort of putting others needs in front of your own for a minute or two. Isn't that what you should be doing everyday anyway?  

You can do it, I have faith in you. All of you. You are all beautiful and all capable of great things. The stars tell me so, and the stars never lie. :)