Today's Horoscope
All signs:
Today you should give someone the benefit of the doubt. I’m not talking about just anybody, some random person you hardly know. I’m talking about people you care about. People you love. People you are invested in. The world is messed up place, and there are so many things to be on guard for. We are all frightened. Frightened of change, frightened of being hurt, frightened of being let down. There are many times that we jump the gun and assume the worst, and we do it to people we know and supposedly trust. We project past hurts and societies ills on them, when there is no need for it.
Our friends are the only safe haven and insulation we have from all the bad things out there. We should take comfort in them, but the world has many of us in a state where we see devils everywhere, even in the people closest to us.
So often there is a misunderstanding, especially with texting and social media, where there is no emotion or intent to pick up vocally. We don’t see the person’s face when they tell us something, and an emoticon is a poor substitute. There’s an old expression, “smile when you say that”, and it means something. No one can tell if you’re smiling in a text or a post, so often what was an innocent comment is taken the wrong way. People see sarcasm, scorn, mockery, and a host of other things in what many times are just offhand comments, not meant to offend or belittle anyone.
So why are we quick to assume the worst from people we are close to? It’s like a never ending test, and it can only end with failure.
Even when intent is clear, people instantly assume the worst. We live in a world now where everything seems to be my way or no way. You see it in politics especially. There is no compromise or concession on any side, and everything stalls. The public has taken up that mantle, and it bleeds into our everyday life now.
We base our relationships on whether people agree with all our views, so of course when we come upon something we don’t agree on that relationship suddenly comes into scrutiny. Once you start scrutinizing something, you usually don’t stop until you find something, real or imagined. One of the great aspects of society and the success of the human race is diversity, and that applies to everything, especially viewpoints,opinions and ideals. We should listen to them all and take the best parts of each. No one person is absolutely right about everything, but we all seem to live in our little bubbles these days where we surround ourselves with people that are in essence sycophants, that reassure each other that our way is the right way.
So many of us get our information from left or right wing sources. That is dangerous, because they are telling you what you want to hear and you’re never exposed to the other side of the story. If you’re a liberal berating conservatives that watch only Fox News, but you are getting all your information from a site or channel that only tells the story with your spin on it, you are no better. Journalism used to be about impartiality, and that doesn’t seem to exist much anywhere in our world today.
We also seem to take shortcuts and only pay lip service to many of our ideals. We can say we are caring and all inclusive and like our heroes, but when the time comes to be that way we have to live up to our words. Many of us don’t.
Even when someone unmistakably disagrees or gets angry with you, take a moment to remember why you are friends in the first place. Realize that people are never going to act like you want them to all the time, and you have to overlook some things now and then. If you expect everyone in your life to think exactly like you, and live up to some perfect image you have of them, you are in for a lot of disappointment and misery. So instead of thinking that they are some horrible person and you never noticed it, assume that they have a reason for thinking like they do. There were a lot of different things those people saw and heard and lived through, different ideas and lifestyles they were exposed to, different traumas and joys that shaped their lives, long before they met you. They are informed by a whole other lifetime, and might live by a whole other set of rules than you do.
If they are your friend, and have proven that they love you and have earned your trust, treat them like it. Don’t be so quick to jettison them, or lash out, or put them in box with people you hate just because they don’t always tell you what you want to hear and have the feelings you want them to have.
The stars burn on for eons, and they know that every little problem is not the end of the world. It is an opportunity. They watch civilizations and empires rise and fall. They see natural disasters and mass extinctions. They see war and pestilence and the horror that life can bring. They see us, with our tiny lifespan and brief moment of consciousness and they wonder how in the world we can be so callous and careless about friendship and love. With all the things that can go wrong in the world, hold onto your friends with all your might.
Give them, and yourselves, the benefit of the doubt. After all , you picked these people as your friends, and when they fail you, you fail too. Put a little work into it and be someone that they want as in their lives as well. If you want someone you can count on, be someone they can count on. And if we fail from time to time, forgive and forget if you can, and grow together and strengthen your bond. Giving up and walking away only stunts your growth as well as theirs and leaves unresolved issues you will have to deal with sooner or later. Whether you notice those issues or not, you better believe other people will.
Wouldn’t you like those people to be on your side?
No comments:
Post a Comment