10/26/2015

Today's horoscope

All signs:

You will see something on the news or hear something on talk radio or read something online and it will scare you, or outrage you. Try to keep that feeling in check for a moment and think about what you just took in. Is it credible? Is it an exaggeration? Many things out there today that claim to be “news” or “facts” are not either of those things. They are lies and half truths designed to boost ratings or Internet hits, or to try to convince you to vote against your own best interests. News is ratings driven, and political rhetoric is money driven, so check the facts before you believe anything and further disseminate bad information. Don't do the work for unscrupulous people.

All signs:

You will see something on TV, or the Internet or just walking through the store and think you want it. It could be something you never even knew existed a second ago, but now you think you need it. If you do get it, it will most likely join the big pile of other impulse buys that did nothing to fulfill you or make your life better once you got it home. It's not entirely your fault, though. A lot of really smart people and tons of money and research has been spent to figure out what stimulates the part of your brain that makes you want something. And that information is being used to tempt and trick you out of your money every second of every day. Try to be conscious of that fact, and if you slip up once in awhile, don't beat yourself up too bad. Just throw that space age microwave egg cooker in the closet and move on.

All signs:

At some point today you will be tempted to do something that will be bad for you. Talk to someone that is no good for you, eat a box of cookies, spend a bunch of money on drugs, say “fuck it” and head to Vegas with the company payroll. More often than not, you will resist, because you have bills and responsibilities, a family that counts on you, or you're fat enough already, or you just don't want to spend 10 years in jail. Congratulations. You are an adult, and you are rational. I know, it's not fun. The older you get, the less fun and more responsibility you get. So figure out a way to treat yourself once in awhile. It could be ice cream, or a movie, or a trip to the amusement park, play a video game. Hell, ring someone's doorbell and run away. Be an adult, but still do something for that kid inside. He/she misses you.

Aries:

Psst. There's something stuck on your shoe.