1/22/2016

Today’s Horoscope

All Signs:

Today at some point you may find yourself looking for a chink in someone’s armor, or waiting for the other shoe to drop.  What I mean is that you might be looking for a flaw where there is none, or thinking the worst about someone when there is little justification.  

Who can blame us?  We’ve been burnt so many times before.  Our brains tell us that there might be danger and we can’t help but look for any warning signs we can find.  It’s a survival instinct, and a deeply ingrained one, so we just can’t help ourselves.  We will just have to live with it, right?

Of course not.  

If you go through life expecting the worst of everyone and afraid to give some control of yourself over to someone you love it won’t be a very pleasant time for either of you.  Trust takes time to build, and it must be earned, but it is unfair to judge someone by the past actions of others.  We all project the people that have hurt us onto the people we are with to some degree.  It can get out of hand and you can find yourself bracing for the worst and sabotaging your life when there is little there to fear.

Every person is not like the one that lied to you, or cheated on you, or abused you,  or let you down in some other huge and damaging way.  Every person is different and must be judged on their own merits, and that is not always such an easy thing to put into practice.  Once some little thing they do reminds us of some little thing some asshole did in the past the alarm bells go off and the panic sets in.  

Now if you’re talking about someone that traumatized you or assaulted you in an abusive relationship, I understand that is not just a matter of letting it go and not thinking about it.  It is also an unfortunate truth that some people find themselves in that situation over and over, and that needs to be dealt with because it is destructive behavior and you really need to get to the root of it and figure out how to avoid it in the future.  The same goes for anyone that finds themselves in the same shitty type of relationship over and over again, even if it’s not outright abusive.  If you find that you are choosing the same type of person each time and you honestly don’t see it coming you need to do some soul searching or maybe talk to a professional if you can. Find out why you make those bad choices and stop yourself from repeating it.  It is helpful if you have friends that are grounded and that you can trust.  Listen to them.  Sometimes they can see things we can’t.

If you have passed all those checks and the person you’re with is not a monster, and is in fact caring and attentive and supportive, at least for the most part, then you might have to ease off on the scrutinizing at some point.  You will also have to accept a simple fact, and it might frighten the hell out of you, but it’s there nonetheless.  

Sometimes you are going to get hurt.

No one will live up to your expectations every single time.  People will make mistakes.  People will let you down. People will hurt you.  You will always find something to have fault with if you look long enough.  For some of us, we have turned love into a test with no right answers, and that’s not fair to you or the other person.  You just have to understand that and not live in fear of it.  You can’t go through life without getting hurt now and then, and worrying about it just makes it seem bigger and more damaging than it really is.  So go out on a limb and take a chance, and if you get your heart stepped on once in awhile, good for you.  It means you’re trying. It means you’re living.  It means you are learning, too.  It’s all a long journey, and if you have a destination in sight the hurt you experience now and then will only serve as road markers along the way, and you can take a strange kind of pride in them looking back.  

And the stars want to remind you that you have friends and people that love you, and wine or ice cream or anything you need to give you solace and help you through it if it all goes wrong.  You’ve lived through it before and you will again, and the stars will be there, shining, looking down at you and bursting with pride the next time you are walking along hand in hand with whomever you are with, trying it again.

Virgo:

Just because Celeste “pizzas for one” are 10/$10 doesn’t mean you have to buy 10 of them.